1. Ian Greig ones are good for umpires
1.1. Easier to spot deflections
2. For the toss
3. Preparing, serving and washing up the tea
4. Not alcholic
4.1. Mind you Pimms would be a nice change
5. Wooden bits
5.1. Bails
5.1.1. 4 light
5.1.1.1. and a spare or two
5.1.2. 4 heavy
5.1.2.1. and a spare or two
5.1.2.2. Note for Scotsmen
5.1.2.2.1. You cannot drink these
5.2. Sightscreens
5.2.1. White
5.2.2. Taller than a bowlers arm
5.3. Boundary markers (+ rope)
5.4. Stumps x 6
5.4.1. and a spare or two
6. Players
6.1. Gentlemen
6.1.1. Do pay them
6.2. Professionals
6.2.1. Only pay them if you win
6.3. Amateur
6.3.1. Don't expect too much
6.3.2. But be prepared for a surprise
6.4. Ladies
6.4.1. It could happen
7. Drinks
7.1. After 20 overs or 90 minutes play
8. Laws of Cricket
8.1. Lords Version
8.2. The lesser spotted ones
8.3. Fast Bowling Directives for Young Players
8.3.1. Mods for 2010
9. Scorer
9.1. They do three things after each bal.
9.1.1. Umpires may only do one
9.2. The most under appreciated and essentail part of the game
10. Scoreboard Operator
10.1. A overly simple task
10.2. Required Competencies
10.2.1. Ability to communicate with the scorrer
10.2.2. Numeracy
10.2.3. or
10.2.3.1. Can push buttons
10.2.3.2. Pull levers
10.2.3.3. Move tin plates around
11. First Aid Kit
11.1. Tooth glue
11.2. Arnica
11.3. Duct Tape
11.3.1. Repairs
11.3.1.1. Bats
11.3.1.2. Stumps
11.3.1.3. Pads
11.3.2. Useful for splints
11.4. Pain Killers
11.4.1. Aspirin
11.4.2. Paracetemol
11.4.3. Nurofen
11.4.4. Shotgun
11.5. Burial at Field
11.5.1. Spade
11.5.2. Pick Axe
11.5.3. Roller
12. Coin
13. Practice equipment
13.1. Net
13.2. Catching
13.2.1. Trampoline
13.2.2. Cradle
14. Boxes x 3
14.1. Gives you two minutes to wash the outgoing one
15. With a brewery preferably
16. High Security Cage
17. Taking you back home after the pub closes
18. Umpires
18.1. 2 one for either end
18.2. A standby umpire is useful in case one of the others proves unable or too able to give LBWs
18.3. A 3rd umpire is of no use unless your game is being covered by the BBC, Channel 5 or Sky
18.4. Coins or small stones
18.4.1. 6 of
19. Ball
19.1. At least one new one
19.2. Maybe two
20. dsd
20.1. Preferably planted for several years
20.2. Mown recently
20.3. Covering a circle approx. 100 yards diameter
20.4. With a square
20.4.1. тьттитиьти
21. Weather
21.1. Dry
21.2. Warm
21.3. Not too hot
22. Tea
22.1. This also means
22.1.1. Sandwiches
22.1.2. Cake
22.1.3. Cocktail Sausages
22.1.4. Cheriton Pie if its a home game in Cheriton Hampshire
22.2. If anyone asks for coffee
22.2.1. Collect their match fee
22.2.2. And send them to Starbucks
23. Groupies
23.1. Useful for
23.1.1. Massage
24. Location
24.1. Next to a pub
24.1.1. And good lunch time food
24.1.2. Their evening menu should be irrellevant
24.1.2.1. Indicates a tea failure otherwise
24.2. Kids playground
24.2.1. or
24.2.1.1. Ball park
25. Kit Bag
25.1. Pads
25.1.1. Don't forget wicket keepers pads
25.1.1.1. Unless you have a 7' 6" one
25.2. Gloves
25.3. Thigh Pad
25.3.1. One - batsmen can share
25.4. Bats
25.4.1. Go on be modern and have a Moongoose